"Amazing orgasmic tantric bodywork session... Remembering how to flow...
Experiencing my sexuality, my energy, like a responsive dance.
Layers of accumulated tension breathed away, layers of old stories of loss and pain
Abuse dropping away, opening to new flowing, orgasmic waves releasing.
Revealing the wild and free in me.
Too long I’ve held myself in a box. I realize, I put myself in a box when my lover died,
Pain and loss in my heart, and anger too, released, and the walls of the box fell open.
Deeper, residual layers of rape still held in my cells, as my body fought and surrendered.
A brief vision of nappy changing as a baby, something, something not right there.
Allowing the waves of energy, flowing, up through my body, moving and opening.
Sounds, so many sounds vibrating through me. I didn’t know I’d held back so much
Open. Breathe. Sounds: some raw, some humming, songs from the deep.
And more, the more, my breast, suddenly feel so responsive,
More alive than in years, my yoni, deep inside me, I can feel it all.
More and more the waves arising, cresting, peace between.
Going deeper, wider open, more, I’m the cosmic mother feeding,
Nourishing all of existence, from my orgasmic energy and orgasmic breasts.
Lady Bountiful. I laugh as I experience myself as her.
Snake moving. Undulating rhythmically up and up. Vision of my throat as snake throat,
I can feel and see the lines across my throat, opening, looking through my eyes, and out
Up through my crown, out to all, dancing with the energy as two healing snakes,
The caduceus.
Back into my womb, an inner flute opens up, all through the core of me.
Bamboo or fine wood (there’s a pun), notes and breath
Singing through it with the waves.
He is amazing, present and breathing and energy and compassion and acceptance and
Love and encouragement and so gentle and powerful, strongly male energy.
I was afraid of that before, but now I’m not. I feel him and I move and I love
And the energy moves me.
I cry with love and beauty and gratitude and bliss and joy, and the waves keep building and breaking.
I feel so safe, held and protected and met by his energy and full presence.
Able to let be unselfconscious as he gently reminds me of who I am.
I’ve never made love with myself like that, and yet I knew it, I knew those spaces.
There’s more, I know, yet I’m full with myself, with my own energy, my own femaleness.
Where have I been all my life?
Once upon a time I’d made it about the man but now, I’m full with me, in the love I am.
I laugh with the humour of asking the divine mother to give me what I need
And she has, and I am her. Beautiful!"
